She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
