yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
