I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
