wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my being single is dangerous.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
