yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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