I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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