I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
