therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
