i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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