and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
