Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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