I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
