i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
