so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
