The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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