Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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