I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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