Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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