what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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