New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
