well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
