At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
