There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
