She's JV to your varsity
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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