My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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