so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
