Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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