I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
