I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
