i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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