oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
