I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
