Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
