Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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