apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
please come you make the beer taste better
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
