erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
