I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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