I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
