drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
