This girl is more easily done than said...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
