Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
