And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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