Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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