I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I did not marry a roomba.
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