ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I could make wine with my vomit
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
