Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think I died a long time ago.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
