sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
