What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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