dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
