He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
