normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
