fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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