so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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