we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
