He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
